Falling Into Place

It is easy for her to imagine that with a simple future accomplishment; the reaching of a goal; everything will fall into place. Everything will be as she has always hoped it would be.

     Easy.

          Pleasurable.

               Perfect.

Even though she knows that's a lie.

There must come a point in the future where she realizes, fully and with life-altering surety, that nothing ever all falls into place. Some future achievement does not guarantee the safety and security of a happy future she has always dreamed of having. There will always be pain. There will always be hardship. There will always be more to strive for.

Yes, she realizes that now, but it is a matter of mind versus heart. She knows reality and what really is. But it is difficult to convince herself that the happiness proclaimed in Hollywood adaptations of life and the way everything falls into place once Protagonist's goal(s) has/have been achieved is not. A mentality that is thrown at her from every single angle since the very beginning stages of childhood, that once the movie comes to an end and Protagonist solves the problem, everything falls into place. Protagonist's life falls into order. Happiness is achieved. Love is fulfilled and free of negativity. Life

     is perfect.

          But no.

Struggle and pain are a part of the natural order. Life is a series of ups and downs, of joys and sorrows, of pleasures and pains, and there is no point somewhere in the middle where she will reach the top and stay there. That is not how it works. That is not real. She realizes this. She believes it. But there is a difference between realization, belief, and knowing.

     Realization implies stunned surprise.

          Belief implies faith, not necessarily based on what is obvious.

               Knowing carries her past realization and belief to awareness, surety, and acceptance.

That is where she is trying to go, and that is where she cannot seem to get. This hope she has that reality will come crashing down, revealed to be some cruel joke, passing the stage to the glamour and beauty of fiction and make-believe, is a hope unquenchable. A hope unbeatable. If only she could just stop hoping, she might be able to learn to know the truth of reality.

     She realizes it.

          She believes it.

               But said quite simply, it is something that she does not want to know.