She feels strange. There is something unfamiliar about the present place she is in. She is not used to this kind of present, and to her, that is a little worrying.
She is not used to being okay.
That says a thing or two about her, about her past, about her life. She has grown accustomed to the feeling of not-okay. And now the feeling of okay is back and she does not recognize it - or she didn't, not right away. She's not sure how to treat the appearance of okay. As an old friend, with a hug of acceptance and welcome? As a temporary respite that she will have to hold onto, and that she will eventually lose again for a while?
How long will this present last?
If it lasts, she feels that she could begin to understand how the here-and-now could be a gift - what we call the present could, for once, live up to its namesake. But then again, if this old friend okay does not last, she wonders if it's worth it. If okay is only here to build up new hope that will only be crushed anew, is it worth it?
She hopes so.
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